Miscelaneous

Disclaimer: These topics are in no particular order... purely random.

Topic #1: I'm a The Bachelor/Bachelorette fan (yes, I admit this) and of course I've been following this season of The Bachelorette. I usually watch it in the living room, and I noticed that every time my aunts walks in front of the t.v. and pauses,  the bachelorette Allie is kissing one of the guys, and of course my aunt comments on how nasty this is, lol. I never really paid it any mind because that's always been a large aspect of the show, but this week's episode had me saying, "Ya NASTY!" (with a stank face of course). In the course of just one episode (and in reality, 2 days), Allie had 2 overnight dates with 2 different guys and they didn't even try to hide what they were doing. I know they do this every season but I definitely cringed a little bit. And to think that the relationship outcome of this show almost never work out in the long run! I might have to tune into something else next season. We'll see.

Topic #2: I miss some of the relationships I used to have with people. Especially the ones I had in ANQ. I keep making excuses as to why I've been kind of distant but to be honest, I really don't have a real reason. I'll have to change that soon.


Topic #3: I'm soooo glad I'm not a "wedding monster!" (phrase coined by Michael Baisden). It means a women that is obsessed with getting married. I know that I already blogged about wanting to be in a relationship, but for real (for real), that's not everyday, lol. On the days where I witness or hear about a messed up dysfunctional relationship, I thank God for my singleness!

Topic #4: I am the world's greatest gold medalist champion of wasting time. I already established that I do little work at work, so why not get other stuff done? No, I'm playing tetris and checking twitter. I come home early and I sit back and relax, even though I have a ton of stuff I could be doing to improve the quality of my life. Wasting time is something I have to correct SOON because the next couple of weeks are really crucial. I have to get stuff done!

That's all for now. I actually wanted to stop at 3 topics, but I had to add that last one in. Shout out to my right hand and "butt!"

passion-Less

Confession: for the past two weeks now I have barely gotten any work done at my internship. I try to force myself to do something, but I can't seem to focus. I work in a room with about 40-50 cubicles, so throughout the day I hear a lot of different conversations. As I sit in my cubicle, I have my headphones with me and tune into Pandora, but for part of the day (usually the beginning and end), I listen to the chatter and meetings that are happening in the other cubicles. It didn't take me long to realize that these people really love their jobs. Really. I think this realization has contributed to my current funk, because I can care less about my work. And I can't think of one job that I've ever cared about. This makes me sad. I long to have a job that I'm passionate about.

Even though I think I've figured out what career path I would like to pursue (Human Resources), I really need to find a job in that field first, even just as an assistant. Due to my past work and academic experience, I don't want to devote my time to grad school and then figure out after I'm done that I really don't like HR. But what scares me the most is actually finding a job in that field and then realizing that I really don't like it either. If that happens, I'm totally back to the drawing board: SCARY!

This is just another area in my life where I feel like I'm so behind. I thought I would be in a career that I am passionate about by now, but I feel very much passion-Less. This has definitely been a prayer request of mine for awhile now, and I know that God works on His time. Maybe there are some lessons that I still need to learn before I embark into something new. I have certainly learned a lot during this summer alone. I pray that at least a portion of God's will for my life be revealed to me soon...a sneak peak God?

iLove My Mac

I never thought I'd have a Mac notebook. I've always complained of not knowing how to use Apple computers, but I simply never tried. Anyway, my windows laptop was getting on my last nerve! I definitely got what I payed for. I think I purchased my Dell for only $450 (refurbished) on eBay after my Compact laptop got stolen from my house (long story). That laptop gave me a headache, and a bunch of other people with similar laptops always had issues as well. But the people with Mac notebooks, were in love with their Mac, and over the last couple of years, my opinion swayed. So now I am one of them: a Mac lover. It's true guys, iLove my Mac!

So even though I'm currently having a love affair with my newest purchase, I keep reminding myself that I shouldn't become to attached with the things of this world. Yesterday I came home early so that I can get some stuff done and I ended up spending all my time on my Mac; discovering how to use it and just browsing the Internet. At around 1am I was mad at myself for not using my time wisely, which is a bad habit that I have to seriously break. Nice things can't take the place of my responsibilities. I shouldn't be so engulfed in my new toys (I got a new iPod touch too) to not read my Bible, take some time in prayer, call a friend or family member, job hunt, etc. I want to keep that in the forefront of my mind.

Anyway, if any of you were thinking about buying a Mac, just do it! You'll love it as much as I do. But when you get one, take time to do what you gotta do.

27 Dresses

This most definitely is wedding season. I have already gone to 2 weddings this year, and I think I have about 5-7 more to go before the year is over...and I'm a bridesmaid in 2 of those weddings. The fact that the majority of my friends and people I grew up with are either in very committed relationships, on their way to the altar, or married already is both exciting and weird. I'm genuinely excited and happy for them; jealously is NOT of God and it's not helpful, so whenever it begins to rear it's ugly head, I rebuke it in the name of Jesus! But it's weird because it's so life altering; when their overall relationship status changes, life changes a little bit.

So lately, this is what has been bothering me a little bit. As I read the "His Story" and "Her Story" on the various wedding websites, the couples usually describe their long friendships before it turned into something more. So....not only am I not in a committed relationship, I don't even have any really close guy friendships (that might actually turn into more). Great... why???

As I look back over the friendships I have had in the past, I can't help but wonder if I let a good guy slip through the cracks. I'm not sure this is healthy though...flipping through my internal files and asking "What if?". I'm gonna have to put more trust in God. I have to trust that He wouldn't let anyone "slip through the cracks"...especially if that person was designed for me.

So for now, I'll keep attending weddings. I've been enjoying them thus far. I like dressing up, helping others plan their wedding, and thinking about what I might like at my own one day. I just hope that I won't have to wear 27 (bridesmaid) dresses before my own Big Day.

First Quarter!

So I jumped on the bandwagon and moved here from Xanga. I needed a change. I took a hiatus from blogging but now I'm back. This blog will be a smorgasboard of topics. Everyone that knows me, knows how random I can be...

A "Quarter Life Crisis" is what I'm going through right now. I needed a new blog to document evolution from whatever I was to what I need to be. I know that in life we never stop growing, but there are some critical changes and lessons that I need to learn and am learning. I've become extremely reflective in the past year; everything I read, see, and hear is evaluted in my brain.

So it's July 9...today is the day! I usually have mixed emotions about my birthday. I AM grateful, but in the back of my mind I'm a little sad that I'm not where I want to be in life. I just feel old. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that age really is nothing but a number. The number can't define me and where I (and others) think I should be. I just need to keep repeating that to myself. So today I vow to stay happy. I'm grateful to God for all the years of life and a plethura of blessings & trials he's brought me through. And I'm grateful for my many different families. This is a good day.

Anyway, I'll try to post often. This blog should be good for me.